Wolf of Wall Street

By: Anthony Racic

I say this with all due respect, but FUCK YOU Martin Scorsese and Leonardo Di Caprio! Fuck you for making me fucking care about fucking Jordan Belfort. You fuckin fucks had me concerned about this motherfucker’s wellbeing.

Your fucking movie is a classic American tale of fucking greed run amok. You still made Belfort come off as a fucking sympathetic character. Sure he was a fucking crazy asshole, but how could a person not be with that much fucking money. Fuck man, I really wanted to hate this movie and Mr. Belfort. But you fucking assholes are too fucking good. Will the Academy fucking give Di Caprio a fucking Oscar already for fuck’s sake? The man is a fucking phenomenal actor and fucking deserves one.

Holy shit did Jonah Hill look ridiculous, with the fucking teeth and the fucking glasses. He did a great job too, if that wasn’t a perfect stereotypical WASPy fucking douchebag, I don’t know what is. I wish they would have done a picture montage of what these fucks really looked like at the end of this flick. Matthew McCaughnhey was fucking fantastic. Shane from the Walking Dead tv show played a good part, as well.

Do not take anyone to the fucking movie that is easily offended by tits, ass, dick, sex, or drug use. I’d say all of that takes up at least 45 minutes of the fucking movie. Pretty sure I saw Jonah Hill’s cock when he’s all fucked up on ludes. Maybe it was a stunt cock, I don’t know, but it was somebody’s cock.

Parts of it reminded me a lot of Boiler Room, another great stock movie. It came out in 2000 starring Giovanni Ribisi, Vin Diesel, Scott Caan, Nia Long, Tom Everett Scott, and has a great cameo by Ben Affleck that I can’t help but think was based on Belfort. I can’t find anything linking them together, but you watch Affleck and then watch Di Caprio and tell me Affleck’s character wasn’t based on Belfort.

Longs story short, it was a great movie. Did it glorify essentially stealing from people with stock tricks? Yes, but as long as you steal from rich people, I’m ok with that.