Spoilery Oldboy Remake Review by Anthony Maybeimwrong Racic

ImageI suppose if I hadn’t seen the original Oldboy I might actually like Spike Lee’s version. While it’s not necessarily a bad movie, it’s just not as good. Don’t get me wrong the Josh Brolin and Elizabeth Olsen are great. Samuel L. Jackson is fantastic as the warden and Sharlto Copley is affluently creepy as The Stranger.

There were minor plot changes to make it more palatable for an American audience. For some reason we can deal with creepy rich Europeans molesting their kids, better than we can deal with a brother and sister fucking each other. A lot of the edge was taken off this movie in this remake. I would have loved to see Josh Brolin bite the head off of a live squid. The twists are all the same, no new surprises to fans of the first.

I was pissed to see that Spike had ruined the hammer scene. He made it into cheesy cartoon violence straight out of an old kung fu movie, where a giant group of villains nonsensically attack one at a time. In the original the fight takes place in the confines of a narrow hallway and is more believably executed.

 It just didn’t feel like it had any Spike Lee characteristics. I didn’t feel his touch on the movie at all. It felt half-assed. It wasn’t a shot for shot remake, but it didn’t stray too far. I’m not sure what Spike was trying to accomplish with this remake other than make a quick buck. It’s kind of sad to see a once great director floundering in the twilight of his career. Like this movie Spike Lee has lost his edge. He’s become a caricature of his former self. It’s like he’s fallen into the George Lucas trap of believing your own hype and thinking you can do no wrong.

You can call me a hipster, but the original is far superior. Like I said in the opening if I wasn’t a fan of the original maybe I would like this version. I’m sure somebody thinks it’s superior to the original and that person’s name is Spike Lee.

If you’ve seen the original don’t watch this remake, except out of morbid curiosity. If you’re one of those people who “ain’t tryin to read no movie.” Then this remake is probably right up your alley.

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Spoilery Knights of Badassdom Review by Anthony Maybeimwrong Racic

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After years of being stuck in movie purgatory The Knights of Badassdom is finally available on VOD, DVD, and Blu Ray. We first heard about this movie at Comic Con in 2011. The trailer and cast panel got rave reviews, but the release date was shrouded in mystery.

According to a complaint posted on Ripoffreport.com, the movie’s production company was trying to form a shell company to release the film without paying the original financial backers. I guess that’s all been sorted out, because the movie is out now and it’s fantastic.

A comedy horror love letter to the LARPing community, starring Ryan Kwanten, Steve Zahn, Peter Dinklage, and Summer Glau, The Knights of Badassdom does not disappoint. Ryan Kwanten plays Joe, a down on his luck mechanic/Doom Metal singer who lives with Zahn (Eric) and Dinklage (Hung) in Zahn’s castle. Yeah I said castle, the movie makes reference to Zahn being an accidental millionaire, but never explains the accident. It’s not important. What is important is that after being dumped by his girlfriend Dinklage and Zahn convince him to chug whiskey and do bong rips until he passes out.

Joe wakes up in the Kingdom of Eliphaz just before the Battle of Evermore, or the local state park depending on who you talk to, where Hung and Eric talk him into participating in the game to take his mind off his ex. Jimmi Simpson is forever creepy as Ronny the gamemaster, an uber nerd who has it out for Joe because of a D&D transgression. Summer Glau plays Gwen, the token hot chick who is only there because of her cousin’s incident at Medieval Times. Her “+3 Ass of Perfection” keeps Joe’s mind off of his ex. Dinklage is great as the shroomed out, duel sword wielding knight, Hung. Which is a great name for a dwarf character. The subtle humor in his performance cracks me up.

Even as geek culture has gone mainstream, LARPers remain a scorned group, mocked as being childish. For those who are unfamiliar LARP stands for Live Action Role Play. To paraphrase Steve Zahn’s character it’s live action Dungeons and Dragons. The tongue in cheek way the film handles LARPing is great. It’s funny without making fun of the pastime.

The meat of the story revolves around Zahn’s character wanting to become a level 27 Grand Sorcerer. He finds a book on eBay he thinks is a joke, but is really an ancient book for summoning demons. It’s not the Necronomicon, but a Bruce Campbell cameo would have been sick. While Eric is performing a “spell” he accidently brings a succubus into the world which takes the form of Joe’s ex-girlfriend and goes on a killing spree. I won’t spoil the ending for you, but it involves an over the top doom metal song and Hung fighting the demon.

This movie is glorious, all of the actors give great performances and suspension of disbelief is never lost. The special effects are great for an indie film with no budget. At 85 minutes the movie is a little short, but flows really well. It doesn’t seem rushed at all. It’s available on VOD from all the regular sources. I declare if thou watchest this fantasy, thou shalt verily be entertained.  

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Podcast 007 Show notes

Welcome back to Audacious Titans podcast, now with intro and outro music. Can you guess the artist and album? We start this one off with our second take of the day. We had some technical difficulties on the first take. We’re sipping on some Balvenie Caribbean Cask. We talk shit about London playing Peggle 2 and missing the podcast. Money gives out our gamer tags, MF Money is Eye­_get_money_B, London is JefftheStampede, and I’m TheRacic. They are Xbox Live and I’m on PSN. Remember AOL discs? Incognito mode doesn’t hide stuff from the NSA. There is some weird porn out on the internet. HAPPY LEGALIZATION DAY!!!! We need legalized industrial hemp! Bad Scottish accents. Extra beer! Math is hard, but I was right. Saving Mr. Banks is a good movie. Was it Roy or Walt that was the anti-semite? How long would you have to be stranded on a deserted island before you fucked a volleyball? We talk about our favorite movies of 2013. Pacific Rim and Man of Steel. How much Kryptonite is on Earth? Money loves Minecraft. The longest intro of all time. RIP James Avery. We need to eat healthier and exercise more. Kettlebell Cardio. Dr. Ian shred diet. Terrible sweet tooth. Big shout out to Joe Rogan and the JRE Experience. I said dude not douche. Major Nelson’s podcast. Rick from Review Tech, Duncan Trussel’s Family Hour, Dan Carlin, Joey Coco Diaz. Stitcher is the shit. We need a different feed before we get on it. Favorite game of the year, GTA V. Have you heard of DayZ? Murderpedia? Good job Fort Waste, first murders of the year. You have died from dysentery. Don’t fall for the Mac hype. What age do you think it’s appropriate to give a kid a tablet? We’ve talked about Twitch before. Is Jay-Z in Day-Z? Will Google become Skynet? Shout out to Filmdrunk, thanks for bringing The Lockin to my attention. Finally found a good Day-Z video. Console MMOs? World War Z is garbage compared to the book. A bloodless zombie movie is bullshit. Desolation of Smaug felt stretched. Smaug looked amazing. The filler parts felt like filler. Beorn was a badass. Three hour midnight movies can make you fall asleep. Thinkgeek.com sells some cool shit. CoD has shitty enemy spawn points. Dead Rising 3 is way better than 2. Death by spork! Breaking down problems with zombie games. So many different races in Elder Scrolls online. Red Guard mages are a joke. Soul Gems? Dragon Shouts? Mean shout outs from MF Money. Will Craven the Hunter ever be in a Spiderman movie? Skater boi Spiderman sucks. The Sinister Six setup could be cool. ‘Murica!!! Older ladies who like One Direction and Twilight are creepy. How can the 50 Shades of Grey movie not be XXX? Mario Lopez was clownin on the Fox New Year’s Eve Show. The Batwing!! Guardians of the Galaxy line up picture looks pretty cool. Can’t wait for that to come out this August. I swear to you Andrew looks like Peter Quill. Abrupt ending because of technical difficulty. Thanks for listening! Follow us on Twitter! @AudaciousTitans

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Audacious Titans Podcast 006

Welcome back to the Audacious Titans Podcast!!! This is our Christmasish episode. Andrew comes back for this one. Merry X-mas gets us into Futurama Christmas episode and John Goodman, which takes us to Tiny Toons and the Super Nintendo game. Gogo the Dodo. Home Alone on Nintendo. Ghouls and Ghosts, did anyone ever beat it? Spyro turned in Skylanders? Skylanders is a great money making scheme. Disney Infinity is the same way. Money ruins the new One Piece for London. Got the latest Walking Dead book, that takes us into the TV show and the midseason finale. Almost Human is a great show. Karl Urban and Michael Ealy have great chemistry and the case of the week format is pretty good at showing us different aspects of this future world while leaving some things vague. Andrew talks about issues Frontier is having with Fox. After London finishes the latest One Piece comic, then he and Money explain it to us like we are 5. Dragonball Z vs. One Piece. In depth One Piece analysis. What’s up with Japanese tentacle porn and hentai? Impressions of Xbox One. Battlefield 4 servers are pissing Money off, deleting missions and shit. But the rest of the game is badass. A FPS game that you don’t have to shoot somebody in? Check out JefftheStampede and Igetmoneyb and their Upload Studios clips. Dead Rising 3 is zombie killing porn. Gamer is the future of video games. Maybe not all the real murder, but immersive VR like that. Can you counter a knife counter? Where is the Gears of War franchise going? Dom went out like a punk. Who is your favorite Carmine brother? Badass RPG shot. Peggle 2 is brought up for the first time. You can’t even be mad at some snipers. Remember when the beginning of FPS deathmatch was a race to the best weapons?  Twitch is fun to watch people play games on. Defense of the Ancient 2 has a pretty cool history. Blizzard made a Magic the Gathering –esque card game called Hearthstone. Starcraft Universe rumors floating around. Starcraft is the South Korean national sport? Second Life was huge at IU. Trollololo. How gullible are people to think that an OS update would make their phone waterproof. Why would you throw your phone up as high as you could? Never believe anything you see on 4chan. We talk about the games we are looking forward to coming to Xbox One. South Park is brilliant satire. Which system has better exclusives? IllumiRoom looks pretty cool. Kinect is better than the PS Move. Thanks for listening everyone, we take off to the midnight premier of Desolation of Smaug.

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