Welcome back to the show, thanks for listening. Intro music is some classic James Brown, Get On Up. We jump into this episode talking about Galactus and the Silver Surfer. Mone is all up on the Juggernuts. London couldn’t make it for this show, so we got Codeine sitting in and Juan hanging out. Why do black people have so many nicknames? Sony is trying to get Project Morpheus going. What is the future of gaming? Porn drives technology. New Assassin’s Creed teaser released. Gotta love loosies. Stay away from the spice. The stock market app is like playing a video game. How many Amazon bots are going to get shot down? Smokin cigarettes in Metal Gear Solid. Do you ever replay a game? Movie news!!! WTF is Maze Runner? Divergent is pretty good. Names are hard. Jarritos Lime Soda, good stuff. Hercules, Hercules, Hercules. How to Be a Player will teach you everything you need to know about women. Badussy. Get on Up! Black Hank Hill. The red light of death. Michael Bay ruins stuff. Pacific Rim 2? The Raid 3 is going to happen. Cheesy Street Fighter Movie is awesome. Little bit of bush can be sexy. Feast recap. Don’t be racist. Good cheese will change your life. Can we just get a full length movie of Kate Upton running in slow motion? Bad Johnson. Enemy looks like a crazy movie. Masturbating Soldier! Jinn looks like a great monster movie. The dude from Afflicted is a dick. Annie remake looks good. Neighbors is gonna be hilarious. MaybeImWrong. Echo looks like modern ET. Kid Cannabis, the true story of running weed from Canada. X-Men: DOFP is gonna be badass. Wolverine too tame? The Giver movie is coming. Noisy drink making interlude. Mone is judging stuff he doesn’t understand. Son of Batman coming out soon. Ghostbusters Reboot. Peabody and Sherman is a great kids movie. Stakeland is some crazy shit. Mone went on a Riddick binge. Trailer Park Boys! Kid’s shows aren’t really for kids. John Leguizamo is a good actor. DMX is a crazy dude. SPOILERS FOR CAPTAIN AMERICA 2!!!! Snail Racing? Really hoping for Machete in Space. You can’t solve the world’s problem with a shotgun. SPOILERS FOR AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2!!!!! Golden Age of Comic Book Movies! Crazy Spiderman comics event about to go down! Superman Clone? The 100 could be cool. Haphead looks like a cool webseries. Mone gives us a Dark Souls 2 update. Thanks for listening!!! Follow us on Twitter @AudaciousTitans @MaybeImWrong @JeffStampede
Wolf of Wall Street
By: Anthony Racic
I say this with all due respect, but FUCK YOU Martin Scorsese and Leonardo Di Caprio! Fuck you for making me fucking care about fucking Jordan Belfort. You fuckin fucks had me concerned about this motherfucker’s wellbeing.
Your fucking movie is a classic American tale of fucking greed run amok. You still made Belfort come off as a fucking sympathetic character. Sure he was a fucking crazy asshole, but how could a person not be with that much fucking money. Fuck man, I really wanted to hate this movie and Mr. Belfort. But you fucking assholes are too fucking good. Will the Academy fucking give Di Caprio a fucking Oscar already for fuck’s sake? The man is a fucking phenomenal actor and fucking deserves one.
Holy shit did Jonah Hill look ridiculous, with the fucking teeth and the fucking glasses. He did a great job too, if that wasn’t a perfect stereotypical WASPy fucking douchebag, I don’t know what is. I wish they would have done a picture montage of what these fucks really looked like at the end of this flick. Matthew McCaughnhey was fucking fantastic. Shane from the Walking Dead tv show played a good part, as well.
Do not take anyone to the fucking movie that is easily offended by tits, ass, dick, sex, or drug use. I’d say all of that takes up at least 45 minutes of the fucking movie. Pretty sure I saw Jonah Hill’s cock when he’s all fucked up on ludes. Maybe it was a stunt cock, I don’t know, but it was somebody’s cock.
Parts of it reminded me a lot of Boiler Room, another great stock movie. It came out in 2000 starring Giovanni Ribisi, Vin Diesel, Scott Caan, Nia Long, Tom Everett Scott, and has a great cameo by Ben Affleck that I can’t help but think was based on Belfort. I can’t find anything linking them together, but you watch Affleck and then watch Di Caprio and tell me Affleck’s character wasn’t based on Belfort.
Longs story short, it was a great movie. Did it glorify essentially stealing from people with stock tricks? Yes, but as long as you steal from rich people, I’m ok with that.
I just got back from a midnightish Thor: The Dark World screening. It was actually the second showing tonight, The first one was at 8, but I had to help Money load the moving truck so I couldn’t make that one. I’m not sure why this one wasn’t released at midnight. Anywho, I went to the IMAX 3D showing because I love watching movies like that. It really heightens the experience. Is it necessary to see it this way? No, but it does add that little something extra to the expansive shots of Asgard and the other realms we visit in this movie. It was nice to see more of the other realms. We didn’t visit them all, but when we first see Thor, Lady Sif, and the Warriors Three they are laying down the law on Vanaheim. Apparently after the Bifrost was destroyed all the bad guys scattered throughout the realms went a little crazy. You know, that whole while the parents are away thing. Thor even defeats a Kronan, the rock monster from the trailer, in a very Indiana Jones-esque scene. The movie opens with Odin explaining what the universe was like before it began, what Aether is, who Malekith and the Dark Elves are, and how they were defeated by Odin’s father Bor. They are believed to be eradicated and the Aether destroyed, alas, this is not the case. Malekith escapes by sacrificing his own people and Bor decides to bury the Aether deep in the center of Svartalfheim, because nobody would ever look there. The movie then jumps to Jane Foster on a date with Chris O’Dowd, of IT Crowd fame, which is interrupted by Darcy.
Sidebar: I was really impressed at the lengths taken to hide Kat Dennings massive rack.
She explains there are crazy anomalies happening and can’t find Selvig; because unbeknownst to them he was arrested for streaking at Stonehenge. Meanwhile back on Asgard, everybody is celebrating the victory in Vanaheim. Odin advises Thor to quit thinking about that mortal slewt and get with Lady Sif. Sif does try to put a move on Thor at the banquet (she tries to get him drunk so was she trying to rape him?), but Thor is preoccupied thinking about Natalie Portman’s sweet ass. He goes to see Heimdall for his nightly watch Jane from the Bifrost Gate, which isn’t creepy at all because they’re in loooooove. Jane is with Darcy checking out an anomaly when she is sucked into it and conveniently sent to the very same place as the Aether, what are the odds. She can’t help but touch it which causes it to infect/possess her. Heimdall tells Thor that he can’t see her and Thor rushes to Midgard arriving just as she comes stumbling out of the warehouse where the anomaly was. But somehow it’s 5 hours later, so traffic must have been backed up on the Bifrost.
The Fuzz try to take her in for questioning, but the Aether lashes out with an energy wave the throws everybody back. Thor then takes her to Asgard to meet the parents and figure out what’s wrong with her. Odin isn’t having any of that, he doesn’t have give a shit about mere mortals. He tells the guards to send her back to Midgard, but when they touch her the energy ball thing happens. This causes Odin to freak out because he instantly realizes its the Aether. Jane being infected by the Aether wakes up Malekith and the last of the Dark Elves from their 5,000 year slumber, because somehow they are connected to it. He makes a bee line for Asgard, sending in his right hand man with a steroid shot to disable the Asgardian defenses.
Shit goes down in the battle, Asgard is caught with it’s pants completely down. Important people die, it’s a real shit show. Back on Earth, Darcy and the Intern have found Selvig at an insane asylum teaching Stan Lee about the convergence of the Nine Realms. Asgard is on lockdown after the attack, but Thor has a plan to defeat Malekith. He talks Loki into helping him escape and they take Jane to Svartalfheim to give Malekith the Aether that is in Jane’s body. Give the bad guy what he wants, what could possibly go wrong? Everything. More important people die, Malekith gets what he wants and heads to the convergence point to destroy the universe as we know it. Can Thor stop Malekith and save the Nine Realms? Of course he does folks, but not before a pretty sweet fight scene with bendable physics.
I really enjoyed this movie. It was a great Thor movie. FULL DISCLOSURE: I’m kind of a Marvel Fanboy. I judge comic book movies not just as movies. I take into account how well it interpreted the comics, as well as how good of an action/fantasy movie it was. It was a little light on the Malekith and the Dark Elves back story. Word on the street though is there might be a directors cut when it comes out on BluRay. Apparently more exposition scenes were shot for them, but didn’t make the theatrical cut for the sake of time. I enjoyed how the movie captured the comedy and action of the comics. It was great to see Thor more matured and not the rampaging frat boy of the first movie. The wide shots of Asgard were beautiful and not much time was spent on Earth, ramping up for more galactically set Marvel movies. Which brings us to the credits scene, there are two. The first after the artsy portion of the credits, introduces Benicio the Bull as the Collector and confirms the Infinity Saga for Marvel Phase 3. The second answers the question of how long does Jane wait for Thor this time. Thor: The Dark World was a better movie than Iron Man 3 and makes me think Captain America: The Winter Soldier will be great as well. Speaking of which, we were treated to an extended preview of the new Cap flick before Thor. Which showed the entire elevator fight scene and Damn was it badass.
Go see Thor: The Dark World in IMAX 3D, it’s worth it.